


Dreams

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Rent - Larson
Genre: Dreams, F/M, M/M, Okay that's it, This is DUMB, amazing human beings, and i have nothing agaisnt the nb, and no gender, and sad, dont you think, each character represents a different thing in the main speakers life that they wish for, each person is different, fisrt person pov, gilbert is a male because sometimes i feel like him being a nb is kinda over used, i won't go back, idk - Freeform, ily all, main speaker currently has no name, main speaker is named Bambi, no more tagging, pappa!gilbert, the main speaker is amazing, this is nice, transgender angel (rent musical), uncle!tommy, was inspired by a dream of mine, why can't they be happy??, ya'll are great
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2018-09-14 13:42:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9184042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Each character from "Dreams" has a special place to the main speaker.Characters:Papa Gilbert (Lafayette)Uncle Tommy (Thomas)Little Karen (speakers best friend)Uncle Tommy's Boyfriend (James)Main speaker (no name yet)Main speaker sister (Stephanie)Tommy's Boyfriend Best friend (Alexander)Papa Gilbert's lover (Cody, female)Cody's best friend (Trans- Angel)Owner of a near by store (Elizabeth)Store owners sister (Angelica and Peggy)Alexander's Boyfriend (John)Tailor (Hercules)Sister's (Stephanie) FatherMain speakers motherCousin Samuel---This was inspired by a dream of mine, and I hope you enjoy this. I just kinda write when I'm inspired by random things. Currently i have four...um...pages??? written and well...uh, I hope you enjoy this.





	1. Start

Dream One: Written: 12/15/16 Characters

Main speaker

Gilbert

Thomas

Father

Mother

Chapter: Begin!

My dream was strange. 'M not sure where it began, but it had something to do with a big buildin'. It might have been a mansion, but it had too many floors to be one. I was with two other people, males. 

Their names? Thomas and Gilbert, twins I believe. We were having a fun time, Uncle Tommy and I were on the fifth floor. Playin' with various toys.

Pappa Gilbert was playing with Uncle Tommy's hair as he told me a story. Then Pappa Gilbert mentioned a 20th floor. "A playing room," he said it was. 

When Pappa Gilbert was done with Uncle Tommy's hair, I asked if we could go. 

Pappa Gilbert said, "Yes!" while Umcle Tommy said, "No!" 

I asked, "Why not?" Tilting my head to the side. 

Uncle Tommy said, "Going any higher than the 15th floor is dangerous. We shouldn't go."

Pappa Gilbert looked at Uncle Tommy. He was mad. 

It got loud.

I covered my ears but it didn't stop.

Stop! Why won't it stop?! Stop please! 

I woke up. 

My Mother was arguin' with my sister's Father again. 

I started cry.

Stop! Stop, stop, stop it! Please!

There isn't a time where they aren't arguin' and shoutin' and screamin'.

At each other's throats, cryin' and beggin'.

I don't think I'll ever be happy.

 


	2. Next

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nice dreams and gentle smiles.

I had a nice dream, with small smiles and gentle laughs. I had a happy day that day, I had a nice dream. I was with Papa Gilbert and Uncle Tommy again. This time, I was at the park. Playing on the swing with my friend Little Karen. 

She was pushing me on the swing and I was giggling.

Uncle Tommy was doing something. I couldn't quite see it, but I can sure tell you, he really is a child at heart. "A man child," his boyfriend had called him once.

Papa Gilbert was off talking with Uncle Tommy's boyfriend. 

Then, the swing stopped. I knew it was Karen's turn! I got off, and she got on. She was an it shorter than me, but that's fine. She's kinda chubby, but she looks cute like that! I like it. 

"Papa Gilbert!" I shouted, smiling widely. Papa looked up, and began to walk to me. Uncle Tommy's boyfriend, Mr. James, was looking at Papa Gilbert. He looked kinda mad, but he smiled, shook his head and walked to Uncle Tommy. 

Papa smiled and asked, "Yes, little one?" I smiled, and looked at Karen. She nodded and smiled back at me. 

"Can I stay with Uncle Tommy and his boyfriend?" Karen nodded her head rapidly, and asked if she could stay too! I was really happy!

Papa Gilbert sighed, but agreed. "Hooray!" I shouted, pushing Karen off the swing - but not in purpose! 

Karen kinda stopped smiling, but then she smiled real big! I smiled real big too! 

Pappa Gilbert was grinning, and Uncle Tommy was hugging - more like crushing! - his boyfriend, saying "Look at the small child!" 

"So small, so pure. Both of them, they are!" Mr. James said, smiling. 

Uncle Tommy held him in the air, until Mr. James lightly smacked his forehead, saying "Put me down, you man child!" 

I giggled and Karen laughed, Mr. James was always nice to me. He always smiled at me, and told me "So pure, so small." 

Karen hugged me tightly, and I hugged her back. She asked, "How do you feel?"

I said, "I feel happy to not see Papa Gilbert and Uncle Tommy argue, or yelling at each other."

I woke up.  
I smiled.

Maybe, it's the start of a new beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are  
> (Song: Smile at snow; Dodie Clark)


	3. Keep going

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "mamma and my sister's pappa were fighting again"

Pappa Gilbert looked upset, I hugged him. "'S okay, Pappa Gilbert. Don't be upset." Pappa Gilbert sighed, and his lover, Ms.Cody, was telling him to breathe.

Uncle Tommy and Mr.James came by, and sat next to Pappa Gilbert. Uncle Tommy was hugging Pappa Gilbert and Mr.James was leaning into his side. 

Mr.Alexander came by too, and soon enough, everyone was here with us. They were all just sitting and doing nothing. 

Pappa Gilbert took me and Karen in his arms, and whispered into my hair, "You don't deserve that." Misstress Elizabeth, the owner of a near by store, asked, "What happened?" 

Pappa Gilbert was going to answer, but Miss Angelica cut him off, giving him The Look. 

"We want to hear from the child." 

"What happened, little one?" Miss Peggy sat in front of us, me and Pappa. She held out her hand, her eyes holding a deep concern and her lips twisted into a frown.

Everyone was up so close, and they were all looking at me. "Too..many..people!" I shouted and everyone took three steps back, despersing like if they were going to die if they didn't. 

Everyone wouldn't stop looking, I wouldn't stop shaking, I couldn't breathe. It hurts, and there were tears running down my eyes. Pappa Gilbert holds my hand, and places my other hand on his chest. He takes really deep breaths, and I try to mimick them. 

Breathing is hard. That's all I want to say.

When I was able to breathe properly, I murmured, "My momma, my real momma, and my sister's Pappa were fighting again." 

Misstress Elizabeth and Ms. Cody gasped and then they dropped to my sides crushing me into a hug. Karen blinked and tapped my chest, and kept doing that in a pattern, something now that helps me breathe. 

Then everyone was hugging each other in attempt to hug me and Pappa Gilbert and Karen.

Misstress Elizabeth was stroking my hair.  
Ms. Cody was rubbing my back.  
Uncle Tommy was holding onto Mr. James as they hugged Pappa Gilbert.  
Mr. Alexander sat next to Misstress Elizabeth and he was playing with Karen's hair, in a way to comfort her too.   
Mistress Angel was whispering comforting words.  
Miss Peggy was brushing my tears away and she took turns in kissing my forehead and kissing Karen's cheeks.   
Mr. John sat next to Miss Peggy, they are best friends. Mr. John's lips are twisted into a nasty frown.  
Sir Hercules was telling me, "If I could I would give them an earful."

Each and every one of their voices were whispering, "You'll be fine. It's going to be okay." They seemed to be telling that to each other. 

I believe they are going to be fine.

I woke up. 

I hugged the closes thing to me, my sister.

The words and voices of my big made up family ran in my mind. 

"Everything's gonna be alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just


	4. Don't stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> named the main speaker (narrator) "bambi"

Pappa Gilbert says he's cousin Samuel. 

Pappa Gilbert says cousin Samuel is son of Uncle Tommy and Mr. James.

Karen doesn't like cousin Sam, she says "he's too much!" 

I don't talk to cousin Sam, Karen says he's a bad guy.

Where's cousin Sam?

I look around, 'Oh there he is!'

"Hi cousin Sam." Cousin Sam looks up from the book in his hands, he squints his eyes and shoos me away. "Go away kid." 

Cousin Sam is 13, and he says that Uncle Tommy and Mr. James do is "a sin."

I shake my head, "Cousin Sam, what's 'a sin?'" I ask. When cousin Sam opened his mouth to answer, his bedroom door was thrown open. I yelp at the loud noise of the door hitting the wall, (and probably leaving a hole) and hid behind cousin Sam. I hear panting and then a question. "Where are they?" That's Karen! 

I peek out from behind cousin Sam to see if it really is Karen. My eyes widen, and there she is. Karen, she wears a white dress, and he long dark hair framing her face. Karen's eyes look in my direction, and she jumps. "Oh there you are!" 

Karen has this thing where she can be a small kid (like me!) or a big kid like cousin Sam. Right now, she's like cousin Sam.

I  _squeal_ so loud, and run up to Karen. She picks me up and spins me, I giggle and she laughs right back. "Hey Bambi, what where you doing with cousin Sam?" She asks, and I tell her that I was asking Sam what a sin was. Karen's smile isn't on her face anymore, and she places me down. She puts her hand on my head, and tells me; "Hey Bambi, can you go to the kitchen, and get me some cookies? You know where they are, right baby?" I nod eagerly, I love cookies! 

Karen smiles and pats my head, as I go off to the kitchen. 

-

I'm in the kitchen now. The cookies are on top of the counter, I try to grab the jar on my own but I'm too short!  _Hmph!_ I look around the kitchen and try to find something to help me. 

Can that help me?

No, I'll fall with it.

Oh! What if I  _climb_ the counter to get the jar? Yeah, that's work!

I smile happily, 'You can't beat me counter! You're gonna have to try harder than that! HA!' 

I begin to open the cabinets of the counter when I realize, they don't have those thingy's to climb on.  ** _AUGH!_**

Why won't it work?!? I just want to get the cookies for Karen!!

I slam the cabinet door shut and it bouncing back hitting my leg. I shout loudly and hold my leg, as I glare at the cabinet. I huff loudly, and kick it harshly. it makes a hole. 'Oh no.'

"Now, what's all this noise about?" I hear the voice of uncle Tommy shout. I begin to flail my arms in the air and look at the hole on the door, 'Oh no Oh no ohnoohnoohnohonoohnoohnoohnoohno-' "Bambi?" I shout loudly and hid behind the closes thing to me. I hide on the other side of the counter, "Bambi, what's wrong?" Mr. James is with uncle Tommy now. 

'They're mad at me for what I did, I'm sorry uncle Tommy and Mr. James I didn't meanitididn'tmeantoputaholeinthedoori'msorryi'msorrysosorryi'msorry-'

"Oh Bambi, what are you doing here?" I look up with tears running down my face and snot coming out my nose. "I'm sorry uncle Tommy I didn't mean to put a holeinthedoorIdidn'tmeanitI'msorrysosorry-" Uncle Tommy picks me up and begins to rock me, "Don't worry baby Bambi, it's okay. You didn't mean it right, so I won't punish you for it. Tell me baby Bambi, what did you want?" Tears are still running down my face, and I silently point at the cookie jar. Uncle Tommy looks at the jar, and smiles gently. 

"Oh Bambi, that jar is empty," He picks up the jar and opens it. I look in, "See?" I smile and laugh, and then gasp. Karen still wants the cookies! Uncle Tommy begins to walk out the kitchen and into the room of cousin Sam. When he opens the door, Mr. James is already there. 

I look at Karen and cousin Sam screaming at each other. I gasp loudly, and wanted to jump out of uncle Tommy's arms. I manged to do so, and I fell. A loud  _thud!_ went around the room, and a muffled groan came out my lips. I got up quickly, and ran to Karen and cousin Sam. "Stop fighting!" I shout, and uncle Tommy pulls Karen to one side of the room while Mr. James pulls cousin Sam to the other side. Why were they fighting? Did something happen while I was gone? Did Karen say something? Did cousin Sam say something? Did...did  _I_ do something? Why were they fighting I want to know so next time-

-

I wake up. 

Cousin Sam reminds me of someone, Grandma J. She's just like cousin Sam, shooing me away.

If I offered cousin Sam a cookie, would he take it?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dreams are just that, dreams. nothing more, nothing less. just dreams.


	5. Won't stop

I was in a big place with stairs and elevators. I was with Karen, Uncle Tommy and Sam.

I was playing on the stairs with Karen, "Bambi, Bambi!" Karen called out.   


I giggled and ran up the stairs. I run into a hallway; it's dark and scary. I don't worry though! I have a thing that glows- it's like a glow stick, but it's not. I don't remember what it's- OH! It's a flashlight! When I shake it, the whole thing lights up and works like a real flashlight. I could hear Karen shouting for me; Uncle Tommy echoing Karen's panicked calls. I didn't hear Sam though, so I don't think he cared. 

I was climbing up another flight of stairs; when suddenly my flashlight was replaced with a phone and the voices outside turned into one single one. 

My eyes widen; it's Becca. 

It was Rebecca screaming and begging for me to "get out!" It's faint, almost like it's really far away. Which it is.

Suddenly, the phone rings. "Hello?" Comes out my voice, soft. "Where are you?!" Rebecca shouts, forcing me to pull the phone away from my ear and put her on speaker. 

I tell her to relax, I'll be out in a few. I tell her that I'm going closer to the closest door. I push open the floor, and above it says "40th Floor." 

I tell this to Becca; to which she says, "Who the hell did you get there so fast?!" Then, in the background I hear the shouts of; "Bambi, Bambi! Where are you?!" 

I gasp; it's Sam. I hang up, and turn to my right. There are huge windows, each showing the big city that is New York City. 

I see Dio there, petting his cat, looking at the city. I sigh softly and go to sit next to him. I look at the city, "Looks nice huh?" I perk up, "Huh? Oh yeah! The city does look nice." I smile, look down to the city. "Don't get to close, you could fall." Dio says, still looking down. I nod, a breathe out a sigh. My mind wanders off to things; Dio smiles. "Look at you, so pure and innocent." I roll my eyes, "I'm a full year older that you and you know that." 

Dio chuckles, "That doesn't mean anything." We talk, about things. Anything, anyone, about the city, about home, about family and issues, and things we want. We share smiles, we share secrets, we share fears. We share, we talk, we sing, we dance, we relax and look at the city.

Then, a door bangs open, and in runs Karen, Uncle Tommy and Sam. The phone the remained on the ground, turned into the flashlight. Behind Karen and them, comes Becca. I turn to face them.

"Bambi!" Sam shouts, running ant tackling me in a hug. Karen and Uncle Tommy follow shortly after, hugging each other tightly. Becca sits close; looking at the city. 

"Looks nice, huh?" I say, looking at the city too. 

I turn to face Dio, but he's not there. 

I pick my flashlight up, shake it and whimper out a small and short; "Sorry." 

"Bambi, it's alright." Uncle Tommy says. Becca turns from the window to look at me; "Not to bother," She says, "But why do they call you 'Bambi?'" She asks.

I shrug, telling her it doesn't matter what they call me, they are family. 

Rebecca opens he mouth, about to tell me something-

  


I wake up.

I smile.

Sam is being nicer. 

"Good morning." Mom says, the yellow glow of the lamp making her face look darker. 

I think Sam accepted the cookie this time.    


  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> but maybe


	6. Can we stop?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger; suicide mention, hinted child abuse

i shoot up from my bed.

i turn my head left and right, panting and pulling on my hair.

i look at a phone on my bed and begin to cry.

in my dream, mom had died. we were in a post apocalyptic world, i was with mom and mom only. she held a tiny jar with red stuff in it.

_a red serum._

its dangerous.

she had tried to drink it but i always managed to take it from her.

until, i _couldn't._  

i cry harder.

she had looked me dead in the eyes and said, "there's no point in living like this." and drank it.

then i woke up.

i cry for a good ten minutes.

i had drained my self from all my energy, so i sleep.

"bambi!" pappa gilbert shouted, "oh my sweet bambi! are you okay? what 'as 'appened?" 

i'm crying still.

i tell him my dream.

"it's okay bambi." he said, "it was just a dream, non? it will not 'appen in real life okay? your mother will **not**  leave you like that, no matter what, alright?" 

i nod, pappa gilbert's right.

it won't happen.

...right?

right!

"oh! i 'ave someone i must introduce to you bambi!" pappa gilbert says.

i tilt my head.

pappa gilbert smiles widely and says he'll be back real quick!

he walks in with a little girl holding his hand. she has real long hair let out lose. she was wearing a pretty red shirt with blue overalls, a pink band aid on her cheek and cuts on her arms. she had white shoes and white socks to match, every color she wore stuck out on her pretty skin. her skin is a light bronze color, like a shiny clean penny. 

"this is miss maria reynolds. she will be your new sister."

...she's very pretty...

pappa gilbert pushes her to my bed lightly. she turns to him, and he nods gently.

shes climbs on my bed.

"...hi..." i whisper to her, my eyes going wide.

she simply waves.

i hug her, and she hugs me back.

pappa gilbert smiles, "alright you two-"

i wake up

i smile

i like miss maria reynolds

but...why did she have _bruises on her legs and arms? who did that to her?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of those dreams
> 
> wanna the the strangest thing? i have dreams the involve new york city, but i've never been there. i've never seen the big city that is new york city. yet it's always there in my dreams, asking my to come. "come here young demi-girl, come explore me. come take pictures of my buildings, come gaze at my stars. come feel my snow, come feel my cold. come make friends, come make your dreams come true. come to me young demi-girl, where you are free to be you. come to me, come to me. come to me, the one and only new york city!"


	7. "Soon, young one, soon."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's bambi's 12th birthday

"Happy 12th birthday Bambi!" Papa Gilbert says, his eyes shining with tears. 

Everyone is here. Sister Maria, Sister Karen, cousin Sam didn't want to come. "Don't want to be around you Bambi." He said. 

Maria told us what happened before Papa Gilbert adopted her. It's the reason she's not that comfortable with angry screaming or around cousin Sam. "Cousin Sam reminds me of him, and I don't like that." 

Everyone came to my party! Papa Gilbert, Ms. Cody, the nice sisters from the store, Sir Hercules, uncle Tommy, uncle James- Everyone!

 

I remember balloons and pinatas, lots of food, music, dancing and singing! Everyone was having so much fun!

 

Mister Alexander introduced me to a man, with a woman at his side and another man at his other side. In front of them was a little girl. She's pretty, and her hair is very curly, like mine. "Bambi," Mister Alexander says, smiling at the man in the middle. "This is Aaron." He says, swinging his drink around. He then points to the woman at Mr. Aaron's side, "This nice woman is Theodosia." She smiles at me, and then waves. I wave back. She is nice. Mr. Alexander points to the other man, "This is Jacques." Mr. Jacques smiled, "Nice to meet you young one." 

"This is Theodosia." Mr. Aaron says, as the girl in front of them waves. I smile, waving back. As soon as I was going to tell her my name, Mister John calls me out. 

"Bambi, Bambi!" He says, smiling widely. "There's the birthday child!" He picks me up into a hug. I laugh, "Nice to see you too Mister John!" I hug him back. He puts me down, "You have to meet Phillip! Maria already met him, so now it's your turn." Mister John turns to walk into the kitchen.   
  


"Oh hey! Mister John, could you wait?" I ask and wait for him to nod. Once he does, I turn to find Theo and her parents. "They couldn't have gone far, they have to be around here somewhere." I whisper, and I was right. They were on the couch, and I smiled. 

I gently tug at Mr. Jacques' sleeve. "Can she come with me, Mr. Jacques?" I ask quietly, in regards to Theo. "Oh please, young child. You flatter me, please call me Jacques, and if Theo can go with you, well you'll have to ask her yourself." He says in return. My cheeks heat up, and I nod. "Yeah, sorry." 

I turn to Theo, and ask her if she wants to come with me to the kitchen. She nods and takes my hand into hers. My cheeks heat up more and I'm sure that I look like a tomato. We walk over to Mister John, fingers intertwined. 

"We're here." I say, tripping over my words because wow! This pretty girl is holding my hand like it's an everyday thing! Mister John smiled, "You ready to meet Phillip?" He asked, and I nodded. "Where are we going?" Theo asks and shivers run down my spine. Wow... even her voice is pretty. 

"To the kitchen." I say awkwardly, trying to hide my red face. I hear her laugh, and I smile because she sounds wonderful. 

Once in the kitchen, Mister John ushered us to stay quite. I look at Theo and she shrugs back. We look at Mister Jon in confusion and he points to Phillip and Maria. He whispered to us, "Look at those love birds." I do my best to hold back a large "Aw!" When Maria laughs at something Phillip said, but Mister John had no problem doing just that. 

Phillip shouted, and clung to Maria for dear life. I laughed at how Maria looked when Phillip got off. "Sorry." He whispered, the turned to look at me, Theo and Mister John. 

"Papa!" He shouted, running up to him. Maria cringes as he shouts and I walk up to her. "Hey sis." I say, smiling gently. 

Karen couldn't come, she said she had to go resolve some stuff with cousin Sam. (They're probably talking things out!) She wished me a happy birthday, and honestly. That's enough. 

"Who's that?" Maria asks, looking at Theo. I look at her, and smile. I squeeze her hand gently and she smiles back, then turns to Maria. "My name is Theodosia, like my mom, but please call me Theo." She told Maria. 

Maria smiled, and introduced herself. "My name is Maria, and Bambi is my sibling." 

Mister John put Phillip down, "Ladies - and Bambi - please excuse me, while I leave my kid to bother you." He walked out the kitchen. "Hey!" Phillip shouted, stomping his foot and huffing. His curls bounced when he stomped his foot, and I kinda just asked Phillip not to shout. "It scares Maria." I said. ("Not that much." She argued. "I'm just looking out for you, sis." I tell her.) Phillip nods rapidly, apologizing multiple times. 

Maria nodded, her long curls hiding her face and whispered a small "Thank you." 

Theo squeezes my hand, her hand cold and soft, felt nice against my warm hand. "You're a good sibling, Bambi." And my face flared up again, as I bashfully thanked her. 

She turns to look at Phillip, "Hey Phil." I raise an eyebrow and gently let go of Theo's hand. (My hand felt empty and weird.) I make semi-explosion motions around my head. "Question marks, question marks everywhere." I said. 

-

That was two years ago. Now, I hold hands proudly with Theo and Phillip with Maria. 

"It's strange." Alexander had told me once, "I always thought it would have been Theo and Phillip or you and Phillip or Theo and Maria or all four of you, expect for you and Maria. You two wouldn't kiss and stuff cause you guys are siblings." I simply shrugged. 

"Things don't always go as planned for a reason." 

And honestly, no one really knows why. 

**Author's Note:**

> Dreams


End file.
